


Its better to not tell

by ArtsyFartsyBro



Category: Overwatch (Video Game)
Genre: Garbage fanfic turns into a thing, M/M, OCs - Freeform, bryans a big gay baby, hanahaki, junkrat being a cool dude, selfindulgent, you can honestly just skip chapter one
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-02-13
Updated: 2018-03-04
Packaged: 2019-03-17 15:08:54
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 5,205
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13661568
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ArtsyFartsyBro/pseuds/ArtsyFartsyBro
Summary: Bryan catches hanahaki cause hes gay





	1. 1. Garbage baby

Bryan Matthews stared down into the wet and mucus covered flower petals in his miss-matched hands with a look of confusion and disgust at what had come out if his mouth. It was early morning in the desolate wastelands of what had once been the exciting continent of Australia, this area having once been lush with life now void of anything more than dead twigs that threatened to crumbed with just a stern look. The sky was a dark blue, slowly lightening as the sun threatened to laugh the day into another day so hot, Bryan would feel ill so he breathed in the air while it was still cool and before the area his prosthetic hand attached would burn him slowly. Roadhog, the goliath he was, had been up too but paid the small young man no mind as he sauntered off a ways to relieve himself in some psuedo-privacy. When left to himself, of course, staring after a shrinking roadhog, was when he had his first real fit, the tickle turned cough wracking his short frame. It was only after he heard the gingling of roadhog returning that he grew panicked, sliding back into his van and wiping his hands off into a small mostly unused waste basket, hiding the evidence. He decided today would be a good day to play sick and hide away in the confines of his van and so he closed the door as the large man passed, his gaze downcast to avoid the unreadable stare.  
He climbed over the small wall separating the driving cab from the rest of the van and settled into the driver's seat, staring quietly at the small garden he was growing in the passenger seat as he decided to trace back to when he could have contracted the disease.

It had probably been six months into his “stay” with the chaotic duo that the first tickle had formed. Roadhog had set a large foot over Junkrat’s legs as Bryan rushed to get some privacy for once, the scrawny junker not yet trusting Bryan, or as he'd been dubbed to fit into the group, “bookworm”, to be let alone without the threat of him running off and alerting authorities but Roadhog possibly sympathised with his need for quiet. Atleast, thats the thought that had given Bryan a tickle in his throat that hed attribute to the dry air; he could never convince himself he had made any reasonable assumptions about the silent masked man. Yes, that was when it had started and it seemed it had only grown from there. Any amount of what could be perceived as kindness deepened Bryans affections towards Roadhog until just looking at him and thinking of how he was just happy to get to be around him, fantasizing about a life where the large man would take him into his lap and hold him protectively as— he began coughing again, hard and deep in his chest as more petals forced their way out of him again. He groaned as he wiped his mouth, taking a deep breath and groaning again before clearing his throat the best he could. How terrible and inconvenient this was considering they were on route to somewhere he still wasnt trusted enough to be told and the only contact he had was with the two.  
“That don’t look too good,” Junkrat said, spooking Bryan. Sometimes, the lunatic could be very sneaky and sneaking into Bryans van had been a pass time on this recent trip. Bryan brushed the petals quickly into the floor in a slight panic, pretending he hadnt heard him. “I had those a while back,” the junker continued, gesturing to the floor, an air of distance between them as per usual despite their now somewhat close relationship. “If I coulda coughed up some seeds, I coulda planted a whole forest!” He insists “was real bad,” he seemed to finish for a while, sitting quietly, seemingly comfortable as Bryan sat stiff im the driver's seat.  
“Who they for?” Junkrat had inquired finally, his back pressed to the backside of bryans seat as he sat half sprawled out in the cramped van. Bookworm coughed a little and cleared his throat again but out if discomfort for the subject more than the disease. He said nothing in response and junkrat sighed “I told you when we got you,” he begins, sounding disappointed “I told you not to fall in love with me.” Bryan laughed a little at that out of how ridiculous the notion could be and, unbeknownst to him, junkrat smiled at this slightly “nah I know it's roadie. Gotta be. Unless you decided you wanna get down with one of those cactus things you got in here?”  
“Definitely not a plant fucker,” bryan assures with another small cough.  
“You can tell ‘im, you know? What harm could it do?” Jamison suggests and now it was jamison. At Least, thats how bryan saw it. When he was serious and quiet, it was the man that he was before the radiation; jamison. The rest of the time it was junkrat. Bryan really appreciated the fleeting moments he got to see jamison.  
“He could kill me,” bryan starts  
“Yeah but then youd be dead so itd be over”  
“He could make you guys abandon me,” bryan lists  
“Id make sure wed come back and getcha. You got all this stuff that keeps ya alive in here, you be fine.”  
“He could laugh at me,” bryans voice grows more quiet  
“That wouldnt be so bad. Hes got a great laugh.”  
“He could not do anything,” bryan finally says quietly, staring down at his hands in his lap.  
“Thats what hes doing already.. how would that be bad?”  
“Not knowing how he feels when you havent told someone is different than when you tell them how you feel,” bryan explains “the only thing worse than him ignore me now is him ignoring me when I would tell him how I feel. Id be… vulnerable. More at his mercy than I am. And I think id rather not go through that…” he thinks this aloud.  
“You worry too much” a pause “im gonna go take a piss.” He then says and leave.


	2. 2. Monetary distraction

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Junkrat pays Bryan to stop being a big baby

The trip to this destination was a long one of avoiding being caught with flower petals on his person or in the van. Not that roadhog checked or even cared but because having his feelings be known and knowing the response hed get was a terrifying and painful thought. Each morning, Bryan would stuff all his petals into his pockets and make his way off a little while, back behind the van so roadhog or junkrat couldn't see and hed burry them, along with relieving himself, before returning to camp. Even when they were driving through towns and cities as inconspicuously as they could, he'd get up early, run to the corner store and flush and throw away the petals and then he'd for sure steal a few squares of toilet paper and hide the clean soft sheets somewhere in his van to have something nice for days when he really needed it(he felt embarrassed and ashamed he craved such luxuries from before the junkers essentially rescued him from his estranged father).  
Today, they were stopped in a small town just passed the border in Spain and a heavy knocking came to the Van door, startling Bryan before the door opened quickly to a fully dressed Junkrat.  
“C’mon now, get up! We’re going out to get stuff!” He declared, excitedly. And Bryan was excited too, quickly rolling about the van to pull on his real clothes and for the first time in months he felt cute as he stepped out of the van. It wasn’t often that Bryan was allowed to go on supply runs with either if the junkers and, when they were in small towns where they had no choice but to let him come along, he never had money to spend so getting to go felt nice because, with Junkrat, he could ask for things, phrasing them as suggestions because he actually did fear just asking. Both the junkers were infinitely taller and stronger than he was so he was careful. They clasped their metal hands together after Bryan closed the Van and the two of them set off, Roadhog staying behind to keep watch of their things.   
They walked in relative silence for most of the way there but naturally that silence ate at Jamison until he just had to talk. “Hold on,” he says, stopping the two of them quickly and shoving his hand into his pocket as Bryan watched him with curious eyes. “Gimmie your hand” he insisted as he pulled out a fist. Bryan did as asked and Jamison slapped a wad of local currency into Bryans hand. Bryan stared at it with surprise, removing his glasses and putting them on again to make sure that really happened. He then looked to Jamison and hugged him tightly, the cash in his fist before he was sorting them out and putting them into a neat folded bundle in his pocket and offering his hand to the towering man. Jamison took it and scoffed. “I’m just sick of you looking so damn scared when you see something you like. Just get it.”   
Once they got in the store, Bryan stuck close to Jamison as the man searched the store. Neither grabbed a cart or basket as they believe “if you can't carry it, you don’t need it” as well as not spending a large number of bills in one space was the best way to stay hidden. Jamison grabbed a few candy bars, bread, and lighter fluid along with a few other goodies and Bryan, with his new found freedom, grabbed a set of toilet paper, a bottle of shampoo, a pencil, small notepad, and a single small box of tea. If Jamison was judging his choices for luxuries, he wasn’t showing it. They checked out, Bryans years of private schooling and nack for picking up languages like tissues adding extra anonymity to their otherwise stranger like existence in the small town.   
They walked back, Bryan’s arms wound around the toilet paper, his knees knocking against it due to the size with a thud and a crinkle if the plastic and solidly wound tissue. He was happy and was distracted from his thoughts of Roadhog for once and he looked pleased. Jamison took note if the joy and considered carrying the tissues for Bryan since he was so small but decided against it since the young man looked so happy to even have them.  
“You can keep the rest of the money” Jamison said from beside him, his purchase under one arm. Bryan looked to him again and smiled, thanking him quietly. They made it back to where they had stayed and Bryan climbed into his van to set the toilet paper bundle in the space under his bed with a smile and they rest of his things in the cabinet hed salvaged from an abandoned junkyard in their travel before returning to and hugging Jamison again. Soon, he once again got ready to follow the others in his van as they continued their trip.   
Before they left spain, they stopped and Bryan picked up some seeds from a farmers market as well as some fruit he couldn't grow in the small confines of his van while the other two were busy with their backs turned. He shared the later with the two, spouting off something about the ailments they fought and the nutrients they provide, unable to stop himself as the information spilled from him like word vomit. They drove for hours, stopping only in small towns to use the restroom before continuing, finally stopping in France. Their trip continued through out the following week until they finally arrived at their destination. Bryan did not like the look of it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Woops turns out this is going to be a short series im so sorry


	3. 3. Untrustable boys

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Bryan is a good boy but is connected to untrustworthy guys and is thusly untrustworthy by association

Driving up to a very official looking building that you know to be essentially a base of operations for a special sort of military is intimidating and unthinkable as a civilian with no record of crimes. However, driving up to a very official looking building that you know to be essentially a base of operations for a special sort of military is not only unthinkable but a threat on your freedom when you are associated with two world renowned criminals and are guilty by association (and flat out guilty) of various levels of crimes. So, Naturally, when Bryan pulled up to the security gate behind the junkers, he was anxious and stiff, unsure of what to tell the guard there, unsure of what the story was he was meant to repeat. Thoughts raced through his mind during the time Roadhog and Junkrat were waiting for admittance.   
“Were they there to surrender themselves?”  
“Were they there to blow up the building?”  
“Perhaps they were there to steal everything that wasn't tied down?”  
Then another thought crossed Bryans mind.  
“Are we here because they don’t want to keep me around anymore?”  
The last thought was a hard one to swallow because, for the first few months of being around them, he wanted to be released into the protective custody of some government agency that would protect him from the person that got him there; but now, he didn't know how to live normally anymore. He had been with them so long, it felt like nothing was ever or could ever be different similar to the way one forgets how terrible it feels to be very sick when they usually aren't or how people who give birth don't fully remember the actual pain of childbirth. Not only was a normal life difficult to comprehend now that hed been on the run with the junkers for so long, not to mention he was guilty of some crimes himself during his time with them, but he had grown to like the both of them; to enjoy their company, each for separate reasons.   
He forced himself to not think on it too much but he was already coughing again.   
Just as soon as his coughing fit was over, the junkers were waved through and he pulled up beside the security booth only to also be waved through by the serious security guard. The others must have been very persuasive or the security very low for all three of them to be able to get in so easily.   
Bryan parked his van next to the others, Junkrat already up and out and ready to get their business finished, Roadhog taking his time for now, possibly preparing himself. Bryan was never sure what Roadhog was doing but he had to make guesses to fill in the enigma that was Roadhog. He was certain Roadhog would be great for hugs, however, and he was coughing again. He quickly hid the petals and smacked his face to get himself to focus before he joined them out of the van.   
“Am I going in with you?” He asks, unable to keep the nervousness out if his voice, stepping closer to the impatient Junkrat. He felt safer when he was near them, especially Junkrat, when they were places he wasn't used to as he could hold his own and was strong enough to cary Bryan and run fast with his long legs despite his less than ideal prosthetic. He didn’t dare take Junkrats hand right now, feeling too tense for physical interaction.  
“You're with us. It’s gonna take a while so we’re not gonna leave you out here in the van.” The scrawny junker informs with a smile. “Why don't you bring some of that tea with you that you got? You won't have to talk to anyone like we do so I’m sure they'll be nice to a kid like you,” he gestures to Bryan and then ruffles his hair as if Bryan were a child and not a twenty one year old adult who has been on the run with them for a year and a half. Usually, Bryan would insist he's not a child and that Jamison is only a few years his senior as they usually did but currently, he was too nervous, too afraid to take Jamison’s teasing and play with him in return. He fixed his hair before he did, in fact, grab a bag if tea and slip it into his pocket. He locked the back of the van before he nodded and followed as Jamison lead them into the building.   
Once inside after a quick inspection(roadhog and junkrat having left most of the dangerous accessories in the vehicle they came in), they were lead down a series of hallways, only for them to be stopped in front of a room.   
“We’re going to need you to step in here for now,” their guide instructed Bryan as they opened a door with a keycard. “Feel free to have some coffee or tea while you wait.” They finished and Bryan looked to his companions with a look of fear. Junkrat didnt seem to notice this now or he feigned ignorance to it and roadhog gave a very small nod. Bryan stepped inside, watching as the door shut and they disappeared.  
The room was small and had a table against the wall with hot drinks and mugs and napkins, a magazine rack, and a few chairs. The walls were a very pale cream, easier to clean than pure white but more sterile than a real cream and, in a way, it was reminiscent of a hospital. This, of course, wasn’t necessarily a bad thing for Bryan; He liked the way bleached floors smelled, especially knowing they were clean. This, however, did not ease his nerves at the moment as he stood near the door but not so close that, were someone to open it, they would hit him. It took him a few minutes to even toe his way toward the hot drinks station. He figured that there was no use worrying about their reason for being there now as he didn't really have a say no matter what the reason was and forced himself to make his tea and sit down, staring at the mug as he waited.   
And he waited for quite some time, slowly consuming the warm, comforting liquid that left his mouth with a pleasant bitter taste to it after he swallowed and a warmth inside him he hadn't had in awhile. It had the additional benefit of helping soothe the roughness of his throat from all his coughing as of late and he appreciated this in the moment.  
And then the door opened. In stepped a young looking woman with an athletic thin body and something blue glowing around her chest. She smiled and in a flash she was sitting one seat away from Bryan, her legs drawn up into the chair with her.   
“I thought I’d come say hello and keep you company while you wait,” she explains and Bryan quietly thanks her. There is quiet between them for a moment before she looks to his cup. “Whatcha drinking?”  
“Black tea,” he answered after a beat. “I like it because it has a heavier flavour to it than white or green tea.” He explains and immediately feels ridiculous for giving unnecessary information in his discomfort, hiding his embarrassment with a long, slow sip. The girl just nodded and said she agreed before they were quiet again. Bryan could tell that, despite her cheerful demeanor, she was trying to get a feel for him and, while he understood that, it made him more nervous. She sat cross legged in her chair, hands resting on her ankles as together, they waited. It seemed waiting wasn’t terribly easy for her because, before long, she was talking again, still very animated.   
“So, aren’t you like.. a criminal or something?” She inquires and immediately, Bryan was stiff. He adjusted his glasses and cleared his throat before shrugging and taking another sip. It was always better not to tell in situations like this.   
“I know your buddies are. Stole the crown jewels the monsters,” she huffed. Bryan didn’t say anything because he was certain the young woman got it all the time but he did notice her accent and her last statement was very entertaining. He smiled just a little in response but otherwise stayed neutral.   
“Do you know why you’re here?” She asks and this question, Bryan can’t help but answer, hungry for any information on what’s to come.  
“No,” he says and clears his throat as he had sounded a little choked, “why?”  
She shakes her head “I’m not authorized to reveal such information to those who are unaware,” she declares, straightening her back with pride? Formality? A military respect? Bryan, in response, sighed, disappointed and his shoulders sagged. He looked to the door, willing his companions to come through and explain it wasn't anything big and that they could return to their wasteland of a home. Instead, a woman in her late twenties came in, her light brown hair pulled back over her ears into a low bun. She greeted the young woman who had come to keep an eye on Bryan(he didn't believe what she had said but didn't blame her for her actions) with a sweet smile and gestured for her to leave before she took a seat near Bryan.  
“Hello,” she greets, “my name is Paige.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi paige is my friends self insert!


	4. Not too dangerous

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Bryan gets examined and he still doesnt know why hes here.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> You can probably skip this chapter.

Paige, as Bryan found out during their little meeting, was a psychologist working alongside the reformed Overwatch and had been working as a therapist for a long time before being asked to join. Bryan admired her for being able to help other people with their problems and then be able to function as a human being afterwards; it was something he didn’t think he could do to even half the scale she did.   
“The world needs good people like you,” Bryan had commented between silence. He had felt he could trust her with at least the vague truths to her questions but he was still in the dark about why they were here and would keep low until he could follow the instructions of Jamison and his beefy bodyguard.   
“And why not people like you?” She had asked; that's what he wasn't fond of about her, however. He had gone to therapy quite a bit starting from when he was 14 until he turned 17 and he had always hated how they seemed to find a deeper meaning he hadn't even known was hidden in his words even if there weren't any at all. Needless to say, as nice as she was, she was still a shrink. Hed try not to talk because sometimes it's better not to tell someone what you're thinking. Bryan didn’t answer. Paige had decided to let it go and turn her questioning toward the subject of his company.  
“How long have you been with them?” She asked kindly but with a twinge of firmness. Bryan shrugged. “How did you meet them?” She asks next and Bryan shrugs again, looking down at the last few drops of the tea in his mug. Paige didn’t seem discouraged at Bryans refusal to answer but she did note it. “I would like if you gave me a little to work with so you can get a room with more than a cot and a toilet.” She requests and a look must have come over bryans face based on the startled sound she made   
“Can you tell me why I’m here?” He asked after a moment, staring intently into the mug. Her shoulders slumped and she took a note.  
“That's all I needed to know.” She states, pushing her glasses up with her pen and standing to leave. Once again, Bryan was alone and left to worry about being left for good.

 

It was another half hour before the door opened again; or at least, that's how it felt to Bryan as there was no clock to keep track of time with. When the locking mechanism clicked and the door opened again, Bryan looked up rapidly, eager to see a familiar and safe face. Instead, he saw the person who had dropped him off in the room and he was alone. “You are needed for a few questions,” they explained and Bryan slowly stood. He was lead down long halls he, being directionally challenged, could easily get lost in, only to be guided into a room less comfortable than the previous.   
“This is an interrogation.” Bryan realized aloud though the thought had been playing at the edges of his consciousness. He could tell by the look on their face it was true even as they tried to lessen the severity of it. He politely took his seat and put his hands on the table to seem less intimidating despite the thick spikes that adorned the port where his prosthetic connected. In reality, he needed more help being intimidating than he did being less so which is why the spikes were there in the first place. After all, he stood barely an inch above five foot and wasn’t much by means of muscle. He was soft and young still despite what he'd endured within the last two years.  
The agent that had delivered him left him again as he waited, anxiety growing with each passing breath. He began to bounce his knee, needing some sort of means to keep track of the time as he stared at the reflection of his own face in the two way mirror. He didn't know how long he waited while being watched by the round camera in the corner of the room and possibly a person behind the glass but it was long enough that his mind stopped registering his reflection entirely and everything was gone from view. He only realized this when he was startled out of the distant state by the door opening, his head turning quicker than he would have liked to see the rooms new occupant. He would have been intimidated by the broadness of the man's shoulders had it not been for the fact he looked like someone wearing a cowboy costume. Bryan noticed the spurs and immediately couldn't take him as seriously as he probably should. He watched at the cowboy made his way to sit across from him and they shared a silence. It was clear by the tension he felt in the room that The strangers silence was meant as an intimidation technique and Bryans continued silence was being seen as a challenge but, despite this not being his intentions, Bryan said nothing. It was best he didn’t speak until spoken to otherwise he may say something that gave this organization ammunition against him. After a while, the man leant forward, arms resting on the table between them just as Bryans were.  
“I’m just going to tell ya straight out, you ain’t leavin’ here any time soon kid so you might as well cooperate so we can make your stay a fine bit more comfortable.” His accent was familiar to Bryan as he grew up around it for most of his life. He didn’t share the accent as he and his mother both had midwestern accents but sometimes, when either got too excited or ill, they too would find themselves with the drawl. “Let's start off with somethin’ easy. Who are you, kid?” Bryan considered answering but that question wasn't as simple as the cowboy assumed. Bryan weighed he options and decided he really didn't like being called kid.  
“Bryan. With a y.” He answered, keeping his voice as level as possible.   
“Where you from, Bryan with a y?” Bryan didnt answer. “How long you been with the fugitives?” Turns out he was starting with the same questions hed expected, all questions he didnt want to answer. The cowboy stopped after a moment and just stared Bryan down. “The scrawny one told us who you are, Bryan. He told us everything.” ‘Thats not going to work’ bryan thought to himself.   
“He dont right trust us yet he thinks we should treat you real gentle like. Says you been through the ringer a bit.” ‘Anyone could assume that by looking at me.’ Bryan thinks. He doesn't believe the cowboy.  
The cowboy nods to Bryan’s hand after a minuet, sensing the disbelief. “Says your hand is his fault. Cut off a finger and the thing got infected.” Bryan visibly tensed and he pulled his hands closer to himself. Perhaps He was telling the truth.   
The cowboy eventually persuaded Bryan to talk a little more but Bryan was still careful to not say too much. Eventually, the cowboy stood. “Alright, c’mon, I need you to do a physical assessment.” And Bryan let himself be lead out. First place they went was a shooting range to Bryans surprise. “Just know if you try anythin, we got a real smart AI system that'll take you down before you can say ‘butter my biscuits’.” The cowboy warns before handing over a simple handgun from a case. He gestures down the range to where a target sits.  
Bryan didn’t like guns; they were loud and dangerous far too often. But he had one in his van, a small “saturday night special” as he grandfather called them, just for saftey. It was mostly quiet and still had all the bullets in the round. He hadnt used it in a while.  
Still, Bryan took the gun into his hands and faced the target. He turned off the saftey, cocked it and lined it up the best he could before taking a shot. He wasnt a great shot, his eyesight wasnt great, but he hit within the chest area of the black and white target before handing the gun back, safety on again, ears ringing. But it was handed back to him and he repeated the process, each following shot fell within a five inch circle. He wasnt a great shot but if the target was still, he could be dangerous. Probably useless in action though. At Least that's what he felt of himself and reasonably so. After the shooting range, he was taken to a medical exam room where the cowboy, naturally untrusting, refused to leave him alone with the doctor. His physical self wasnt in the greatest shape but he tried his best and did what he could to seem as cooperative as possible. That is until he was told to take off his shirt and pants. “Cant you just.. finish it with my clothes on?” He asked the woman but was answered with a very authoritative no and an explanation that they were all adults and she needed to check for anything that could be concerning. Bryan quietly fought with her on it until the cowboy left the room as per his wishes and the medics demand. Then, he complied.   
When he was allowed to redress, his face was heated from embarrassment and discomfort at being so vulnerable but he had no choice. She was just so damn intimidating. He didnt say anything to the cowboy as he was again taken to a room to wait.

**Author's Note:**

> Sorry you suffered through this I just needed to make a hanahaki thing or my heart would explode


End file.
